All Lawyers will have Neck Tattoos within 5 years according to research conducted by 1st Year Law Student Anna Brathlewaite.
According to Anna – who recently returned from a Hens weekend in Bali where she herself got a Neck Tattoo in unclear circumstances – her research points convincingly to an emerging trend for Lawyers to get Neck Tattoos.
The research, first presented to her Dad who is paying her University Fees and living expenses – and now exclusively available to Tatts a Mistake – relies heavily on the increased acceptance of Neck Tattoos at her local Hipster Cafe.
“Two years ago, only the Barista who worked on Thursday mornings had a Neck Tattoo” says Anna “but now the girl that serves me my Chai Lemon Latte with activated almond essence has one as well which shows just how fast they’re becoming mainstream.”
According to Anna, this trend only needs to continue, then accelerate by 5,000%, then jump from the service, music and stand-over employment sectors to professional and white collar industries, then accelerate by a further 10,000%, then have laws introduced making it illegal for employees to discriminate against people with visible Tattoos, and by her calculations we easily arrive at the situation whereby all people in the legal profession have Neck Tattoos just like her’s.
Asked how she came to the conclusion that this would all occur within 5 years, Anna replied “because that’s when I graduate and if I don’t get a job my Dad will fucking kill me”
In light of her research we asked Anna if she recommended that other university students go out and get themselves Neck Tattoos, to which Anna confirmed that she “thought it was a great idea, and she would especially urge all Law Students graduating at the same time as her to urgently get Neck Tattoos so as not to appear too conservative in job interviews”
Asked if she had any regrets about getting a Neck Tattoo Anna initially responded by sobbing uncontrollably, rocking back and forth and crying “what have a I done, what have I done” but in a written follow-up response confirmed that “although she could not recall the exact events surrounding her getting a Neck Tattoo, she was very happy with her decision, if in fact she was legally capable of making decisions at the level of intoxication she reached during her Hens week in Bali”
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